Moving In With You

moving in with you – Issues to Consider

House rules.

Before deciding to share living quarters with your parents and having a elderly parent moving in with you, think about the arrangement. Will they share a bathroom with you or another family member? Is your house equipped for an older person? Are there house rules to consider before the move-in? Will your parent contribute to household finances?

Ideally, there will be enough space so that you each have privacy. If there isn’t, can you live with that?

Consider the impact on your relationships.

What is your relationship like with them now? Will living together stress you out more, cost or save you time (no more running back and forth to their place or worrying about them) or impact your own family relationships? How much supervision do they require and what is your situation (work, other kids, in-laws, emotional well-being), not only theirs?

How will this move impact your relationship with your spouse and your children? Discuss with family members who will be impacted.

Understand the advantages.

Moving in with you has some real positives your parent may gain a closer relationship with your children–and possibly babysit if they’re healthy—and you are modeling caring behavior for your own family. It’s also going to be cheaper than a nursing home (average cost $80,300 for semi-private room, $91,250 for private) or assisted living (average $43,200). To see the cost in your state, go to

While you’re at it, check out adult day care and respite care.